Friday Funny: Happy July 4th!

Well, this has nothing to do with facility management, but FacilityBlog can't miss the opportunity to wish visitors a happy July 4th (in the form of a Friday Funny, of course).

FRIDAY FUNNY: A Reptile Walks Into A Bar...

... And patrons welcome it by taking some photos with it and setting it up at the bar. (That was after taping the mouth and putting it in a box.) Luckily, this crocodile was only about two feet long, so it was fairly easy to contain.

This happened last Sunday at the Noonamah Tavern in Noonamah, Australia (population 483). Eventually wildlife officials came to pick the croc and brought it to a farm several miles away. It was thought that the reptile may have escaped from that farm in Darwin, and walked the distance to the tavern.

See one of the photos from the Associated Press...

FRIDAY FUNNY: Darwin Award Honorable Mentions

For anyone unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, this honor has been bestowed upon those members of the human race who have done a great service to mankind by accidentally removing themselves from the gene pool. The awards have been around since the mid 1980s, but they really hit their stride when the Internet became the ideal circulation vehicle for all kinds of tall tales, urban legends, and sordid truths.

While genuine Darwin Award winners enjoy both the thrill of victory (achieving a remarkable feat under extreme circumstances) and the agony of defeat (typically in the form of their own demise), the following photographs should give you an idea of the general concept. They also illustrate a complete disregard for safety and lack of common sense in facilities maintenance settings.

From the "should it be necessary to apply for a safety license to use a ladder?" file:

During a heat wave, desperate times warrant desperate measures:













Lesson learned: don't park one of those trucks on the side of a hill and then get into the bucket at the top...













Nothing like this has ever happened in your parking lot, right?












When you're hating your job, think about switching places with this guy:


















And finally, from the "how the heck did that happen?" file:



Let this be a warning to you and the members of your facilities departments!

Thanks to TFM FM Frequency Columnist Jeff Crane for submitting this Friday Funny.

FRIDAY FUNNY: CDC Alert from CNN

CDC Alert

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises, take two good friends to the nearest liquor store, and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and/or Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Many thanks to Evelyn Schwartz (my mom!) for submitting today's Friday Funny. (Do you think she's trying to tell me something?)

FRIDAY FUNNY: Baggy Eye Candy

With conventions in full swing, many facility professionals and others in related industries are partaking in the 2008 trade show bag season. Don't know what I mean? Well, if you've been to a trade show or convention, you've surely received a clever bag to hold all of your product literature.

Here are some particularly eye catching offerings that illustrate just how creative some companies can be with their marketing.








Many thanks to Betty Anne O'Malley for providing this post.

FRIDAY FUNNY: Culture Differences Extend Even To Toilets

While perhaps more in the realm of weird than funny, a story out of Beijing recently illustrated how cultural differences can apply to most anything and everything. A Reuters report in March reported on the fact that Olympic organizers in the host city have had to refit toilets at several Olympic venues. This was in response to foreign athletes' complaints about having to squat, rather than being able to sit, on the toilets.

Shown here is the National Aquatics Center (nicknamed Water Cube) in Beijing, which is one of the venues where toilets were an issue.

To read the rest of the story by Liu Zhen, click here...

FRIDAY FUNNY: Facility Managers Know Better (We Hope!)

Most of the time, it takes the trained eye of a professional inspector to identify defects or potential hazards within a facility. On some occasions, however, certain maintenance issues are easy to spot. And in private residences, where untrained homeowners act as D-I-Y facility managers, well, the results can sometimes be catastrophes waiting to happen.

Each year, the American Society of Home Inspectors (ASHI) releases unusual home inspection discoveries from the field. The photos below were submitted by ASHI Certified Inspectors and published in ASHI’s publication, the ASHI Reporter. Photos appear monthly in ASHI’s “Postcards from the Field” section.

“Some of the most unusual discoveries I’ve made as a home inspector have happened while I was inspecting dark crawl spaces, attics, and roofs,” said Brion Grant, 2008 ASHI president. “From time to time, though, I spot some pretty unusual and potentially dangerous issues simply by walking into a room.”

Monumentally Bad Planning
Electrical outlets come in all shapes and sizes, but even John Fryer, an ASHI Certified Inspector from Oakland, CA, was stumped by this unique contraption. While Silicone Valley (the site of this finding) is lauded as a premier location for creative minds and innovation, this improvised design is more dangerous than ingenious.

ASHI’s founder, Ron Passaro of Bethel, CT, advised the owner of this home to take caution when walking out this door. Watch out, that first step can be a little tricky.


Fun With Water
Each year, ASHI emphasizes the importance of winterizing outdoor faucets as part of an ongoing winter maintenance regimen. While inspecting this home in Hopedale, MA, however, ASHI Certified Inspector Ron Cook concluded that this homeowner did not heed the Society’s advice.

The owner of this home in Bartlett, TN, does not appear to believe in the expression “all things in moderation.” There are six hoses connected to the faucet shown here. ASHI Certified Inspector Brandon Dyles said the homeowner was hoping it would pass as a “sprinkler system.”

KA-BOOM!
The junction box shown here is the “Grand Central Station” of junction boxes with more wires coming and going than ASHI Certified Inspector Garet Denise of Littleton, CO, cared to count. Surprisingly, this is the work of a licensed contractor and was approved by the local municipal inspector.

Oops. A licensed contractor. Reminds me of my first house, which was owned by a former engineer from a company I will mention by initials only: G.E. The kitchen was wired in such a way that the dishwasher would only run when you turned on the wall oven. Needless to say, this gentleman's friendship with the inspector was the only reason he was able to get the Certificate of Occupancy required in order to sell the house. His engineering prowess was certainly dubious, at best.

Have you seen anything like this during your tenure in the facility management profession? Send your photos to us!

FRIDAY FUNNY: Rainn Predicted for HON Showroom During NeoCon

The HON Company’s Chicago office furniture showroom will have a well-known “Office” visitor on Monday, June 9, 2008 during the NeoCon® World’s Trade Fair. Rainn Wilson, best know for his current role as eccentric paper salesman, “Dwight Schrute,” on NBC’s Emmy award-winning series, The Office, makes a day-long appearance in HON’s Showroom in Suite 1130 in Chicago’s Merchandise Mart.

Wilson, one of the most recognizable faces from the network’s “must see TV” Thursday lineup, will appear in the HON showroom from 10-11:30 a.m. and 1-3:30 p.m. at NeoCon. During this time, fans will have the opportunity to meet Wilson and obtain autographs and photos. NeoCon® World’s Trade Fair is the largest exhibition of contract furnishings for the design industry in North America.

“From several notable and exciting product launches to Rainn’s appearance on Monday, The HON Company showroom is a ’must see’ stop on any NeoCon visitor’s agenda,” says Don Mead, The HON Company’s vice president of marketing. “Rainn and The HON Company are a perfect fit. HON is one of the largest contract furnishings manufacturers in the United States. Rainn is one of the most popular characters, not only on The Office, but on prime-time TV,” said Mead. “Who better to help us roll out our new products at this year’s show? We’re excited he is able to join us in Chicago while we introduce a number of innovative, new products to the contract design community. We’re certain NeoCon 2008 will be HON’s best show yet.”

Before joining the cast of The Office, Wilson first gained positive acclaim from television fans and critics alike as somber mortician’s apprentice “Arthur Martin” on HBO’s Emmy-winning series, Six Feet Under. He has also guest-starred on other television programs and has a number of film credits to his name, including a hilarious cameo in the Oscar-winning film, Juno.

FRIDAY FUNNY: Every Office Has One

Today's Friday Funny is short and sweet. Which categories are covered in YOUR office?

Many thanks to Megan Knight for supplying this Friday Funny.

FRIDAY FUNNY: Hula While You Work

FacilityBlog is not in the habit of making full fledged product announcements (or endorsements, for that matter), but this new offering is just too good to be true for a Friday Funny. This product does something truly amazing: it allows the user to exercise while performing a sedentary job.

The Perfect Hawaii Chair combines the ancient art of the Hula with a patented 2,800 RPM Hula motor to create an easy-to-use waistline slimming and fat burning aerobic workout exercise machine that takes the work out of your work. The Hawaii Chair fits in anywhere, is easy to use, and is perfect for the whole family. It targets improved waistline and shedding some unwanted fat from your body. For senior citizens, frequent exercising with the Hawaii Chair promotes vigor without strenuous exercising.

Here's a video from the Ellen DeGeneres Show, demonstrating the power of how the Hula Chair works.

Main features :

• Following in the footsteps of the graceful Hula dancers from Hawaii, the Hula female dancers maintain a svelte figure. The Hawaii Chair is designed to do all the work for you, without strenuous exercising for anyone who wants to achieve a good waistline and maintain a fit body.
• The Hawaii Chair is so convenient to use. Sit on the chair and adjust the speed level, depending on your comfort and health levels . You can use it while watching TV, surfing the net, at the office, or simply relaxing with the family. It is easy and accessible. You will enjoy the benefits of the Hawaii Chair for a long time.
• The Hawaii Chair will rotate counter-clockwise for two minutes and operate in the reverse direction for the next two minutes. There are nine different speed levels. You should start with Level One in the beginning and as a first time Hawaii Chair user. Depending on your comfort and health levels, you can adjust the speed level up or down. The repetitive circular movements target three muscle groups: (1) the core abdominal, (2) the thigh, and the (3) waist.
• It will help you break down some unwanted fat layers, tone your muscles, and keep you in shape. Regular exercise maintains ones good health. And you should use the Hawaii Chair often and regularly as part of your exercise. The Hawaii Chair helps improve the digestive system and blood circulation.

Specifications :

* Dimensions : 23.6 x 25.2 x 33.5 inches
* Power : 150W
* Product weight : 60.2 lbs

All this for the special low price of $293.96. Beware of imitations and knock offs. Only accept the original!

(This is not a joke.)

Many thanks to Gladys Roldan for sharing this story.

FRIDAY FUNNY: Understanding Engineers

*Understanding Engineers - One*

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said: "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said: "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said: "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't fit you anyway."

---------------------------------------------------

*Understanding Engineers - Two*

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

---------------------------------------------------

*Understanding Engineers - Three*

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

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*Understanding Engineers - Four*

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

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*Understanding Engineers - Five*

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

----------------------------------------------------

*Understanding Engineers - Six*

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Many thanks to Peter SJF Bance, for these oldies but goodies.

FRIDAY FUNNY: New Drug May Help Facility Managers

When you hear that someone is hot or cold - do you make snide remarks? When someone slips and falls - do you secretly chuckle? Do you have Dilbert cartoons taped all over your office? Do you work in a cubicle? Do you hate Monday mornings?

Have you attributed your agony to an ulcer, schizophrenia, diverticulitis or irritible bowel syndrome? Maybe you simply need SARCASMA!

Ask your doctor about SARCASMA or click on the ad below for more information!




Found on http://www.sarcasma.net/
Copyright 2008, Archer Creative Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

FRIDAY FUNNY: The Cubicle Periscope

There has been a great deal of analysis and criticism of the culture of cubicles. Most people in cube farms do not view this configuration in a positive light, but no one is convinced the cubicle is going anywhere (at least not in the near future). As a result, of 40 years of "fermentation," the cube culture has blossomed, creating interesting subcultures and lingo.

The term, "prairie dog" popped up about 10 years ago as description of the worker tendency to spring up spontaneously in the cube farm to ask a question, make an exclamation, or just investigate something curious or interesting going on in the surrounding area. The phenom has created its own cottage industry, the Cubicle Periscope.




Charlie White of Gizmodo writes:

You can covertly extend your Cubicle Periscope, keeping tabs on your scheming office mates and becoming a master of workplace intrigue.

Sure, we've seen cubescopes before (see photo, above right), but this one takes on a new level of sophistication, with its 5x zoom and 15-22" height range.

The scope was originally designed for sporting events, letting you see above crowds. That explains its serious construction and $60 price. It looks quite durable, suitable for the highly mobile paintball player, and includes a carrying handle and its own strap-on case. Apparently this is a tool for those who take their office spying seriously.