The First Facility Management Blog

A rocket launcher might help control meetings.

Last year, FacilityBlog presented a visual identification guide to annoying co-workers in the post, “FRIDAY FUNNY: Every Office Has One.” Here’s an updated description, provided by Christine Lambden and Casey Connor, authors of the new book, Everyday Practices of Extraordinary Consultants.

Who is the most annoying person in your office? Or is it you (heaven forbid)?

• Pontification Person—This person goes on and on, telling you what he or she is going to say, saying it, and then telling you what he or she said.
• Um Person—To avoid losing control of the conversation, this co-worker fills every pause with “Um,” not realizing he or she might be able to think better when not talking.
• Too Much Detail Person—The authors could elaborate on this one, but then, of course, that would be contributing to the problem.
• 50,000-Foot-Only Person—He or she is eloquent when you talk about the big picture, but refuses to allow anyone to get into the details, which we all know is where the real work gets done. “Unless you’re the CEO of a multinational corporation,” say Lambden and Connor, “you have to be willing to work at any altitude.”
• Hypnotized-by-E-mail Person—Wireless technology can be a lifesaver, but there’s something defeating about presenting to the tops of people’s heads because everyone at the conference table is hunched over his or her laptop.
• Buzzword Person—“This employee is annoying in meetings, team rooms, and in cubicles,” say Lambden and Connor. “In fact, this person is just plain annoying all the time.”
• Foul Language Person—Much like Buzzword Person, this co-worker is too lazy to think of the right words to express what he or she is thinking, if, indeed, he or she is thinking at all. This person isn’t trying to impress you with his or her knowledge. “They aren’t trying to impress you at all,” Lambden and Connor note. “They don’t care what you think of them.” Refreshing on some level, but probably not a person you’d want on your team.
• Reiteration Person—The only contribution this person makes is to restate what already was said. So, basically, he or she actually has no contribution to make.
• Too Busy to Be Prompt Person—He or she always is late to work and every meeting, clearly lacking time management skills. Nobody can be working on something important all the time, after all.
• Can’t Control the Meeting Person and Arch-Nemesis Wants to Take Over the Meeting Person—There has to be some balance between the out-of-control ditherer and the maniacal meetings dictator, doesn’t there?
• Secondary Conversation People—Your best material often isn’t riveting, but staffers at least could pretend to care. But Lambert and Connor point out these workers “only are annoying if their conversation is less interesting than the meeting.”
• Disagrees With Everything Person—“This co-worker honestly believes he is just being practical, or serving as the voice of reason, or playing devil’s advocate,” the authors point out. “This may be true sometimes, and even helpful occasionally, but when it becomes a habit, everyone else just tunes them out.”
• Obscure Metaphor Person—This employee is as annoying as “the fool in a troupe of Morris dancers,” say Lambden and Connor. “See? Wasn’t that annoying?” How do you help your employees handle interpersonal workplace annoyances big and small? Do you have any suggestions on maintaining the peace and comfort of colleagues who have to share space in trying times?

Morris dancers evoke mixed responses....

One of my older cousins is a demolition expert. He makes a living blowing up buildings. As a kid, I never quite understood the significance of this job, even though my dad was a civil engineer early in his career.

This sequence may have few repetitions and embellishments, but it is a tribute to demolitions done well (unlike the Demolition Fail I posted here back in January). Some of these explosions/implosions are spectacular illustrations of how facility managers feel when frustrated by their buildings. (Great music by The Prodigy too!)

(The one at the 30 second mark is quite beautiful, in my opinion!)

Typically, facility managers appreciate the classic Murphy’s Laws (which go back as far as 1841, according to Wikipedia, but were formalized in 1877 at a meeting of an engineering society). The most common example, “anything that can possibly go wrong, does” made its first modern appearance in 1952, although the origins have been claimed by two sources (Jack Sacks, a mountaineering author, and Anne Roe, an author quoting a physicist).

This week, we have Peter SJF Bance to thank (again) for these lesser known laws from Murphy.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% likelihood you’ll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, at night, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10. When you go into court, you put yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Photo: WGME

Less is more, at least for one innovative coffee shop in the small town of Vassalboro, ME. Owner Donald Crabtree has found a way to bolster business and bring in the customers (and job applicants) during this tough economic spike: topless servers.

More than 150 applicants expressed interest in the 15 positions (10 women and five men), and Crabtree made his selections based primarily on customer service attitudes—not overall physique or previous serving experience. From CNN:

In a town with fewer than 4,500 residents, the topless coffee shop is booming with business. Paul Crabtree, the owner’s brother, describes business so far as “fantastic.”

Many local residents were irate over the idea of combining coffee and nudity. Crabtree, however, saw a profitable business venture.

“I know what people want,” the owner said. “People like nudity, and coffee is profitable. Sure, I’d start a coffee shop, but I’d be out of work in a week.”

The coffee shop jobs are paying off. One waitress received a $100 tip for a cup of coffee, and most of the wait staff make about $30 a table.

“The economy is so bad,” Crabtree said, “Everyone’s losing their homes, their ties, everything they own. People leave here happy and can’t wait to come back. It’s nice to see people smile again.”

Check this link for a video of resident responses.

The shop opened on Monday, February 23, 2009. Patrons are not allowed to touch the waitstaff, and customers must be over the age of 18.

IMPORTANCE NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES!

All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at little or no cost.

Feeling stressed? Too many priorities and assignments? Here is the new, low cost, company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments.

Supply each employee with two paper clips and rubber bands. (See Figure 1.)

Figure 1

Assemble items as shown in Figure 2.

Figure 2

Apply as shown in Figure 3.

Figure 3

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!

Sincerely,
Management

Many thanks to Poor Richard for sending along this post.

From Despair.com

You’ve heard of modern marvels, right? Well now there is a phenomenon of modern maladies sweeping through the computer based world we call 2009. In order to help keep its visitors up with the times, FacilityBlog brings you this glossary of terms that apply to today’s techno-times. It’s an oldie but a goodie from New Scientist, by way of Peter SJF Bance.

Blog Streaking: Revealing secrets of a personal nature online, which for everybody’s sake would best be kept private. (Some people just crave attention.)

Cyberchondria: A headache and a particular rash at the same time. Extensive research on the Internet convinces you it’s terminal.

Egosurfing: When “just checking” gets out of control. (James T. Kirk would be a good example.)

Google stalking: Snooping online on old friends, colleagues, or first dates (or former failed colleagues who were less than ideal co-workers).

Infornography: Acquiring and sharing information is an addiction. (No comment.)

MySpace impersonation: Many of us pretend to be somebody we are not when online, but some pretend to be a famous personality. (Not me, of course….)

Photolurking: Flicking through a photo album belonging to someone you have never met.

Powerpointlessness: One too many flashy slides. (I love this one!)

Wikipediholism: Excessive devotion to an online collaborative encyclopedia. (No comment again.)

YouTube narcissism: Not even your closest friend wants to see your holiday videos.

Check for the last Wiki condition here.

This Friday Funny is in honor of Liz Davidson.

Robert Baron, a management professor at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, said three of the most critical factors that affect morale are lighting, temperature, and noise. And improved morale can lead to higher productivity and lower absenteeism.

Photo credit: www.joe-ks.com

Boosting employee morale doesn’t have to be expensive or involved. Even contagious cheerfulness on a regular basis can mean the difference between a dour workplace and a welcoming, productive one. Ask the employees for their ideas and listen to their thoughts. Work out a viable plan that will motivate them and make them more productive and happier at the same time.

Offer Contests and Awards
Special days such as “Ugliest Outfit Day” or “Best Disguise Day” or “Funniest Story Day” can be a way to lighten the mood for a bit and encourage communication between employees. Offer “awards” which can be simple prizes and certificates given to the winners to display.

Install a Humor Board
Most every office has several memo boards for important work-related information, some pleasant, some not so pleasant. Install a memo board in a neutral location that is specifically for people to post jokes, cartoons, funny pictures or amusing anecdotes. This way everyone can get a little laugh after arriving for work on a dreary Monday morning.

Start a Swear Fund
This concept speaks for itself, and it is an idea that has many benefits. However, it can go wrong if taken to extremes (just like anything). Here is an example [apologies for the implied foul language and the shameless Bud Light promotion]:
Workplace Morale Booster

Those of you familiar with the comedy of Monty Python should recall this classic sketch about two architects and their concepts for a mixed use residential block.

Facility managers should be suspicious of an RFP that includes rotating knives or a mock up with a questionable central pillar system. And now for something completely different….

The magic of Disney has been experienced by millions of people around the world over the past several decades. And there are no doubt numerous aspects of history of Disney parks that remain unknown to the general public. In Anaheim, CA, Disneyland holds more than a few secrets. A few reported recently on Uptake.com include:

* The drawbridge to Sleeping Beauty’s Castle really works.  It’s been raised only twice: once on opening day, and once in the l980s when Fantasyland reopened.

* The crest above the drawbridge is the Disney family crest.

* It took only 364 days to build Disneyland.

* Main Street represents Walt Disney’s home town, Marceline, MO, in 1901 (the year he was born).

More can be found at the Uptake site.

The TFM Forum, which took place in Huntington Beach, CA in November 2008, included a behind the scenes tour of Disneyland. TFM Editor, Heidi Schwartz, wrote about what the group of facility managers attending saw on the tour.

Visitors view newborns in the Hello Kitty-designed maternity ward, at the Hau Sheng hospital. (AP Photo Credit/Wally Santana)

Back in 2006, Hau Sheng Hospital in Yuanlin, located 95 miles outside of Taipei, latched on to the benevolent cartoon symbol associated with all things cute, pink, and cuddly—Hello Kitty. Visitors of the hospital’s maternity ward (which has now delivered about 2,000 babies since its adoption of the Hello Kitty theme) are inundated with images of the cheery, mouthless anime icon, which is appearing exclusively on everything from nurse’s uniforms to blankets to room decor to birth certificates.

Emily Co of Kaboodle writes,

The Hau Sheng clinic was built in 2006 with a capacity of 30 beds, and its Kitty theme has been officially approved by Sanrio Co., Ltd. Hospital director Tsai Tsung-chi told Reuters his reasoning behind this madness: “I wish that everyone who comes here, mothers who suffer while giving birth and children who suffer from an illness, can get medical care while seeing these kitties and bring a smile to their faces, helping forget about discomfort and recover faster.”

The brainchild of Hospital Owner Tsai Tsung-ji, the Hello Kitty theme was actually the suggestion of his family—specifically his wife, mother and daughter—under the pretense the ominpresent symbol would be a calming influence on patients. “When new moms feel anxious and lost about how to deal with their new babies, Hello Kitty can make them more relaxed and reduce their sense of discomfort while giving birth,” said Tsai. (Source: Debby Wu, Associated Press.)

Among the first mothers to give birth in the Hello Kitty themed hospital was Chen Shing-chiu, 38, mother of a newborn baby boy. “Unlike traditional hospitals that are mostly white, I feel this one is pretty good,” she said. “I like Hello Kitty very much myself.”

The Hello Kitty brand celebrated its 34th birthday this year and still retains a healthy fan base both in its native Japan and abroad, mainly made up of young females who consider her the epitome of cuteness. Earlier this year the cartoon character even graced the cover of Japanese Vogue. (Source: Junior’s Book)
“
[Reuters Photo Credit/Christine Lu.]

The Hau Sheng hospital claims to be one of a kind in terms of its “therapeutic” feline decor, but considering the popularity of Hello Kitty, it’s only a matter of time before that status will change.