The First Facility Management Blog

Some employees call it a mental health day, but it’s really something else—playing hooky. And since today is really the first beautiful Friday on the East Coast in a very long time, it seemed like an ideal opportunity to dust off this fun, yet educational, modern classic.

The Hooky Book, by Kerry Speckman, can offer managers two advantages. First, it provides secret insight into some excuses from staff that may not be entirely legitimate. Does an excuse sound familiar yet contrived? Perhaps it was suggested by the author and used by several employees, just with a slightly different spin.

Second, it gives a tip or two to those managers who may craving a mental health day of their own, but count on the fact that their “higher ups” won’t be wise to the excuses presented by the author.

From Amazon.com:

Have we got an excuse for you … actually, more than 200 of them!

As a professional fib fabricator, author Kerry Speckman knows how to get you out of work, school and anything else you want to skip out on. She’s so good at it, in fact, she managed to weasel out of 26 days working for one company — and was still named one of its outstanding employees of the year.

For the first time, Kerry spills her best tips, tricks and tales in The Hooky Book including:

• Why you owe it to yourself to play hooky
• How to craft a believable excuse
• And, most important, how to avoid getting caught

With Kerry’s invaluable advice and experience, you’ll learn how you, too, can climb the corporate ladder without leaving the living room couch.

So for those of you who need a morale boost, check this little gem out for the perfect excuse. And for those of you playing truant officer, well, this book is a necessity!

Happy (un)Hookying!

In facilities management, training and education are essential parts of the job. New technologies and updated procedures make it imperative for all personnel to be up to date on relevant operations systems and services.

The same policy holds true to an even greater extent in military training (which can actually be humorous, believe it or not)! Whether fact or fiction, these words of wisdom from military training manuals are quite funny.

‘If the enemy is in range, so are you.’
- Infantry Journal

‘It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.’
- US. Air Force Manual

‘Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.’
- General MacArthur

‘You, you, and you … panic. The rest of you, come with me.’
- Infantry Sgt.

‘Tracers work both ways.’
- Army Ordnance Manual

‘Five second fuses last about three seconds.’
- Infantry Journal

‘Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.’
- Naval Ops Manual

‘Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.’
- Unknown Infantry Recruit

‘If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.’
- Infantry Journal

‘You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.’
-Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)

‘The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.’
-Unknown Author

‘If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.’
- Fixed Wing Pilot

‘When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.’
-Multi-Engine Training Manual

‘Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.’
-Unknown Author

‘If you hear me yell;”Eject, Eject, Eject!”, the last two will be echos.’
If you stop to ask “Why?”, you’ll be talking to yourself, because by then you’ll be the pilot.’
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot

‘What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up …. the pilot dies.’
-Sign over Control Tower Door

‘Never trade luck for skill.’
-Author Unknown

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are: ‘Did you feel that?’ ‘What’s that noise?’ and ‘Oh S…!’
-Authors Unknown

‘Airspeed, altitude, and brains. Two are always needed to complete the flight successfully.’
-Basic Flight Training Manual

‘Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.’
- Emergency Checklist

‘The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.’
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

‘There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.’
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ

‘You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.’
- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks,’ What happened?’ The pilot’s reply: ‘I don’t know, I just got here myself!’

(This Friday Funny was provided by Peter SJF Bance)

Staircases are just staircases, right? Well, not always. Sometimes, a clever designer taps the talents of a diligent engineer, and the results can be pretty impressive. Take a look…

This one would be confusing at first. Start with the wrong foot and you are in trouble.

Here’s a practical idea…the two bottom steps both open up for additional storage.

Unnaturally natural….

Another great use of space (my personal favorite)…
Going up:

And going down:

Better on paper than in practice?

Another example where footing is essential.
Going up (left) and down (right):

Colorful, but nauseating. Does this one come with a sick bag?

Does this pass code?

Or this?

This looks more like a sliding board than a staircase.

Perhaps this is what it looks like inside the condo for the Keebler elves?

Many thanks to Evelyn Schwartz for submitting this post.

Well folks, this is the third or fourth (I have lost count) mega snowstorm of the season for our area, and while I’m not one to complain (it’s winter…I get that), many people are starting to get a bit punchy. And while some folks are fortunate enough to be able to work from home, the news reporters just aren’t so lucky. Check out these videos, if you don’t believe it’s tough out there.

Lighting influences how wine tastes and how much consumers are willing to pay for it, the National Lighting Bureau reports, citing conclusions drawn from a series of three German experiments in which more than 500 people tasted white Riesling wines. The study report, “Ambient Lighting Modifies the Flavor of Wine,” was published in the December 2009 issue of Journal of Sensory Studies.

According to the Bureau, the only significant variable in the experiments was the ambient lighting in the spaces where study participants sat. Researchers used a series of fluorescent lamps that produced red, blue, green, or white light. People rated the wine’s quality higher, in general, when they drank it in a room whose ambient lighting was red or blue versus green or white. They also found the test wine much sweeter and fruitier when sampled in a room illuminated by red-tinted fluorescent lamps, and were willing to spend more for it.

The first experiment involved 75-male and 75-female visitors to the Allendorf winery in Oestrich-Winkel on the Rhine River. The 150-person sample tasted Allendorf Festival 2004, a dry Riesling from the Rheingau region, in a specially designed, windowless tasting room. The tasters sat facing a wall illuminated by the special fluorescent lighting system and sampled four 100mL pours served in opaque black, lidded glasses that obscured the wine from view. (Prior experiments have shown that the color of the beverage itself can affect assessments of its taste.) Participants scored each sample from 0 to 10 points for each of five qualities: fruitiness, spiciness, bitterness, sourness, and sweetness. The participants did not know if the four samples were the same or different, nor were they asked to differentiate between taste and aroma. On average, the participants liked the wine better when they drank it under the influence of red or blue light rather than green or white.

In the second experiment, 69 male and 66 female subjects – mostly students at the Johannes Gutenberg-Universität Mainz – sampled eight 50mL pours; four each of two Allendorf wines (dry and semi-dry Rheingau Rieslings). Participants perceived a wine to be spicier when they tasted it under blue or green light rather than red or white. Interestingly, blue lighting made the wine taste bitter, but subjects nonetheless liked the wine more under those lighting conditions. About six of every 10 participants (58.5%) thought they tasted more than two wines. About two in ten (19.3%) said (correctly) that they had tasted two wines. The rest thought they had tasted one wine.

The third experiment involved 84 male and 146 female participants, each of whom tasted 100mL of a dry Rheingau Riesling served 50mL at a time in two lidded, black glasses labeled “1” and “2.” The researchers used three ambient colors – blue, red, and white – and randomly assigned each participant to one of the six possible sequences of two colors. For example, if assigned to the color sequence blue-red, the participant tasted the first glass of wine under blue lighting and the second under the red. Participants evaluated each wine based on its aroma and taste. They rated the wine much fruitier when they drank it under red light.

According to NLB Chair Howard P. Lewis (Lighting Alternatives, Inc.), the researchers intend to conduct additional experiments. “In the meantime,” he said, “it seems evident that lighting color – which includes the color of room surfaces – affects the taste of wine.” He concurs with the study’s lead researcher (Dr. Daniel Oberfeld-Twistel) that serious wine tastings should be conducted in neutral-color environments.

Economy up, economy down, one thing remains the same: love is in the air at the office. Nearly four-in-ten (37%) workers said they have dated a co-worker at some time during their careers, in line with the 40% who said the same in both 2009 and 2008. Additionally, 32% said they went on to marry the person they dated at work. This is according to CareerBuilder’s annual office romance survey of more than 5,200 workers.

Some workers are dating those above them on the office ladder. When it comes to dating higher ups, women were more likely than men to date someone above them in their company’s hierarchy. Thirty percent of women said they have dated someone who holds a higher position in their organization; 19% of men report they have done the same.

“Workplace relationships are more accepted these days, with 67% of workers saying they aren’t keeping their romance a secret. However, it is the responsibility of the individuals to understand company policy and make sure they adhere to it,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “Employees are working longer hours and under increased pressure, creating an environment that could cause relationships to bloom. Workers need to keep it professional under all circumstances, though, to ensure that the quality of their work is not negatively impacted.”

Some workplace relationships may have their beginnings in current workplace crushes. Eight percent of workers currently work with someone who they would like to date, with more men (11%) than women (4%) reporting they would like to do so.

Twelve percent of workers reported that their relationships started when they ran into each other outside of work. Some other situations where Cupid’s arrow flew between co-workers:

• Happy hour
• Lunch
• Working late at the office
• Company holiday party
• Business trip

Haefner offers the following tips for workers who may want to spark a workplace romance:

• Know your company’s office relationship policy. While some companies are completely open to office romances, others may have stricter policies. Make sure both parties in the relationship are aware of potential rules or consequences.
• Beware of social media. Before you start posting pictures and status updates about your new “status,” it may be better to inform your co-workers or boss in person. That way, there is less chance for gossip or speculation.
• Always take the high road. If your relationship should end, do your best to maintain professionalism and not let the issues affect your performance on the job.

The survey also showed the repercussions of workplace romance, with 5% of workers saying they have left a job due to an office romance.

Got $100,000? Got loads of office paper that’s ripe for recycling? Well, one Japanese firm has the perfect solution: White Goat.

Take a squirt of water (well, maybe more than a squirt) and about 40 pieces of paper, process it in the White Goat for about 30 minutes, and voila! Out comes a roll of toilet paper, ready to use.

Check out this video:

Happy days!

The product is expected to go on sale in Japan this summer.

Many thanks to several folks who brought this to my attention this week.

You see them everywhere—intersections, parking lots, and storefronts—but in Houston, TX, the public will no longer be subjected to inflatable marketing devices. This comes after an incident on a shopping center rooftop just yesterday (1/28/10), when an out-of-control inflatable gorilla deflated and caused a fire.

From the AP:

District Chief Fred Hooker says some type of a “blowup doll” was on the roof, the item deflated and landed on some lights, leading to the fire. Fire authorities say two stores suffered minor water damage. Part of the rooftop also was seen to have suffered fire damage. No injuries were reported in the fire early Thursday.

(However, the gorilla is not doing so well…)

Safetycare takes the subject of workplace safety very seriously. The organization’s blog and forum is a resource for safety videos, tips, photographs, and relevant news from all over the world. It’s also the source of funny safety, videos, and jokes.

One such item is a video entitled “You and Office Safety.” This description comes from the folks at Safetycare:

“You and Office Safety” is the most hilarious video on office safety you will watch! Made in the 1950s, this film is perfect as an eye catching ice breaker when delivering office safety training. Although the fashions have long gone, and some of the behaviors in the workplace have changed, this program still addresses the following topics which are just as relevant today. It’s easy to consider the office a perfectly safe work environment, and forget about the hazards that can exist. Just because you work in an office, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be concerned for your own health and safety, and that of your colleagues.

Take a look at this gem, which is part of the Safetycare channel on YouTube.

The engineering mind is a fascinating thing. When an engineer comes on the scene, the most common objects—a stack of pennies, for instance—can be transformed into just about any architectural masterpiece.

“Distracted Programmer” Mitch Fincher has published a Web page based on a talk he gave while studying civil engineering at Texas Tech University. He explains the science behind his creations:

“The following is the basic pattern for building cantilevered structures with pennies. Although it looks trivial, we can build amazing structures with these pillars.

“All penny columns are 10 high per stack. Two side-by-side pennies held in place by a penny above them is called a triad. (Pictured at left is a stack with two triads resting on top.)

“All stacks of coins were created without any glue. Only the weight of the coins provides the support.
Fincher’s site has collected numerous examples of amazing coin stacks, which he calls “a fun hobby for kids, college students and adults.”

The video below demonstrates how one “stacker” has designed a three foot bridge with over 2,000 coins: