FRIDAY FUNNY: Sometimes It IS All In A Name

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The US Bank in Quilcene, WA has been recognized by the community for customer service. (Photo: Patti Walden.)

In the local community, the US Bank in Quilcene, WA has been recognized for customer service. In the rest of the country, it is known for something else. (Photo: Patti Walden.)

Posted by Heidi Schwartz Over the past few weeks, Whitey Bulger’s name has been in the news on a fairly regular basis. Considering his record includes racketeering and murder, it is hardly a surprise that bank robberies are among his lesser misdeeds. However, that’s not the case for one alleged thief whose name will forever be associated with this crime. Financial facility managers beware. If someone by the name of Ulysses Corwin Nevermissashot opens an account at your institution, contact the police immediately. In August 2013, Nevermissashot was arrested and denied bail after being linked to a November 2012 robbery in Quilcene, WA. During the incident, Nevermissashot held a teller at gunpoint but did not fire. He fled the scene with an undisclosed sum of money but left behind a smoldering cigarette butt that held a sample of his DNA. This (along with other forensic evidence) led the police to Nevermissashot. I don’t know, but maybe he should change his name to Neverfireashot instead? On the other hand, if you don’t shoot, you can never miss.

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